Tripping Together: What Psychedelics Can Offer Intimate Relationships

Let’s talk about two of my favorite topics: sexuality and psychedelics.

There’s something that feels both intuitively ancient and wildly contemporary about lovers turning to psychedelics together.

This intersection holds so much. Ecstasy. Deep healing. Interpersonal growth. Shifts. Softenings. Rememberings.

And yet, it’s a place that asks for care. Psychedelics can crack things open. They can make the subtext into text. They can deepen love and sensuality, yes, but they can also stir grief, trauma, or truths that haven’t yet been spoken.

So how do we approach this kind of experience with intention, especially in romantic or sexual relationships?

Here are some reflections from both personal experience and my work with couples navigating this terrain.

1. First Things First: Safety and Trust

Substances like MDMA and psilocybin can increase emotional openness and make vulnerability feel delicious instead of scary. But only when there’s trust, both personal and relational.

If a couple is actively in conflict, using psychedelics to try to fix things can backfire. Similarly, sometimes taking substances in a party setting or with strangers can lead to feelings of false intimacy, disorientation, or decisions that don’t feel aligned afterward.

So ask yourself:

• What agreements do I want to make with myself and my partner(s) before the experience—around touch, communication, space, or pacing?

• How will we navigate something that feels edgy or unexpected?

• Can we handle each other’s deeper truths?

• Is there anything that needs to be said before we enter an altered state together?

This kind of work isn’t just about comfort. It’s about staying connected or intentionally reconnecting when something gets stirred up.

2. Sex or No Sex? Let the Body Lead

People often ask if psychedelics make sex better. The honest answer is: sometimes.

Sometimes your body wants to be touched. Sometimes it craves release. Sometimes it wants stillness, water, or to stare at the stars in silence. The key is listening.

There are substances that enhance sensuality and connection, and make sex and eroticism juicy, fluid, and extra sensational. Others take you far from your body, or deep into your thoughts or feeling states. Substances often make sex feel different, sometimes alien and hilariously awkward. There are some overlaps, but also often substances are different for everyone.

Part of the magic is in letting go of expectation. The best psychedelic sex I’ve seen or had is slow, attuned, and emergent. It’s about feeling, not doing. Being naked in all the ways. Embrace the awkwardness, and allow space for reconnection.

One suggestion I love: start while already in an erotic, connected state. Take the substance together while naked and kissing. Feed it to each other. Begin with playfulness and presence, and let the experience unfold from there.

3. Start Slow

You can always take more, but you can’t take less.

Especially when exploring sexuality or intensity with new psychedelic substances, with a new partner, or in a new setting, it’s wise to be gentle. Set a low baseline dose for your first shared experience. Build trust with the medicine and with each other.

4. Putting Set and Setting into Practice

Set refers to your mindset—how you’re feeling, what you’re bringing in, what you’re hoping for. Setting refers to the many aspects of your environment. The room you’re in. The lighting. The music. The energy between you.

So how do you want to make the space extra cozy? What music do you want to listen to? What will support you in feeling safe and open?

Have a plan. Talk in advance about how you'd like the experience to go, and stay open to surprise.

• Are you open to touch?

• Do you want to keep things nonverbal for a while?

• Do you have a safe word or gesture in case someone needs to pause?

A stoplight system—green for go, yellow for slow, red for stop—works well for some. Others prefer a double tap, a “time out” hand sign, or another agreed-upon signal. Use what works for your bodies and your dynamic.

Afterward, plan for the comedown. Have nourishing food ready. Create rituals for integration. Take a bath, light a candle, journal, or watch something comforting (a movie or a sunset). Let the afterglow be part of the intimacy.

5. You Might Want a Guide (or at Least a Check-In)

Not every couple needs a facilitator, but many benefit from working with a therapist or guide (like me!) before or after to process what came up.

Sometimes a conversation that felt profound on the medicine gets lost in the days after. Having someone help reflect, integrate, and make meaning of the experience can turn a beautiful night into lasting growth.

6. Consent Is Still King

Being partnered does not equal blanket consent.

Check in early and often—before, during, and after. Consent is not a checkbox. It’s a living practice.

If you’re new to this or want more tools, I recommend the work of Emma Knighton, Caffyn Jesse, and Betty Martin.

Final Thoughts

Psychedelics, when approached with care, can be a portal to pleasure, insight, and intimacy. These experiences aren’t for everyone. But for those who feel the call, they can help you remember who you are together—underneath the habits, the roles, the noise.

If you’re curious about preparing for a psychedelic experience with your partner, or integrating one you’ve already had, reach out. This is sacred and sensitive territory, and you don’t have to walk it alone.

I’d be honored to support your journey.